I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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