i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So squirting runs in the family.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
