there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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