no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
