I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
