i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
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damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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