wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
