Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
