This is not my ceiling
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
