I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
