I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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