I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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