so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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