Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
