this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
