Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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