he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
