At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
