Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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