Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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