IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
