Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
