Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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