So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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