i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
