that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
