I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
