What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
