I've blown a few things in my day
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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