Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
