You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
