Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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