i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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