Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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