she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
