Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
