yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
