is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
