so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
