woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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