yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
