fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Buhtt sex?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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