sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
