even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
