So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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