They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
