Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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