I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
