you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
