apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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