Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize