Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
