bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize