i was born a porn star she said
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
