i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
