Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down