Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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