dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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