Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.