dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
be right there i have to get my cape
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
