I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
