So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
