she was so not down for the gang bang
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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