imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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