apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
