very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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