i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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