brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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