I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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